Friday, 24 June 2016

Are you a bully?

How many times do you take a base ball bat and beat yourself up each day. 

So far this morning I have told my self the following;

  • your miserable
  • your fat
  • you don’t eat the right food for your body
  • your abusing yourself by not exercising
  • if you took care a little more of your house you would find that top your looking for
  • your so untidy
  • your lazy
  • your too old
  • your not good enough
  • your fat….did I forget to mention that
  • how much weight are your gonna pile on before you stop eating that shit

I know right, I would be arrested I told someone else all that in a matter of an hour, would you say that to your best friend, daughter or even some stranger in the street? NO! because it is called abuse. So why do we do it to ourselves? 

 We have a very large and complex brain that seem to just seek out drama, repeat negative self-talk and  create false illusions.
The worst thing, it seems to pile on the fear and hate daily,  every complaint, every dissatisfaction, every problem is drilled down into our brain so it can spin it’s own story, our brain bullies us to be exactly where it wants us to be. 

Because our brain’s job is to keep us safe, it is constantly acting from a place of fear. (like all bullies)  Its primary  job is to ensure our survival. and not to allow us to have the blissful experience of life.

Even when everything is going well, a little voice in our head will say, “Watch out! Something bad is going to happen.” Then panic sets in, and we experience that unnerving anxious feeling of possibly losing all the good we have going for us.

Our brain is a marvel, and expert at telling us engaging stories that are so real and convincing that it’ll influence us to  act out of fear and irrational anxiety. As well as being able to spin a good tale it can vividly replay emotional stories in our mental theatre over and over and over and over.

It’s torture, abuse and self sabotaging our happiness

Before you know it, you’ll start to believe in the stories and trusting them to be true. It becomes a belief, solidified in your mind, yes even the lies. What happens is that we continue our journey in life and start to make choices based on this belief, and then we end up suffering. 

We suffer a lot and sometimes we suffer for a long time because we don’t realise that we are the problem. But there is good news, we are also the solution.

I am a believer we have 2 voices in our head, the loud, vicious one - that school bully, that rages and causes fear and terror in order to gain control of the situation. We also have  the quite gentle one, the delicate flower, who waits patiently for the right time to blossom, with some watering and sunlight it will grow and become strong. 

So what do you do, water your flower, and wait for it to blossom, or is the noise and terror of your bullies voice so loud you can’t help but listen to it and believe the stories. 

Now here is the hard bit, we have to  learn to ignore the bully, and every time we hear that negative self talk to turn away and look at the real truth. 

You have a choice today to believe the ugly lies we all tell  ourselves. Or start to  believe in the truth. and here is how you can do this….

Every day think of 3 things to be grateful of…….think of 3 things which make your life wonderful…..focus on those things all day and keep saying - I am so blessed to have…..

  • a beautiful family
  • amazing cleavage
  • blue eyes
  • a garden which his alive and filled with flowers
  • a sexy man/woman in my life
  • love
  • children
  • a home
  • warm clothes
  • food in my fridge
  • electricity
  • a job
  • great skin

and so know what your grateful for. 

Every time you hear the ugly lies, say right back, ahhhhh that is not true because I have ‘***fill in the blank****’ so I am in a better place today. 

Argue back, tell your brain you are not afraid and it is not in control of how you should be feeling today, tomorrow and forever. 

Take back the power and feel blessed… the glad game